Oh Target....

How I doth love thee.....

Yesterday, I sent the two older children to Grandmas House so they could go do the Chucky Cheese thing.  Again I commend my mother in law, the idea of going there with the kids gives me major anxiety, yet she and my father in law take it with stride and have a great time with the kids!

SO me and little bear....its not just a name I give the baby...kid looks like a bear, hes huge and wears a bear coat lol..... we go to Target. 

It has been theorized that you can NOT walk into Target and spend less then $100.  It is because of that theory, I don't walk into Target and instead grumble around Walmart hoping I can get out as soon as possible.  But this day.....alone with the baby....in need of socks, instant mash potatoes and light bulbs, I though....... CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Did some math in my head....socks $10.....Mash $2.....Light bulbs $5.......Even if i threw in a few other things I could totally walk out under $100.  So Mrs. Budget Conscious walks around Target, getting what I need....then it begins. 

- What follows are the dialogs in my head and with my 6 month old-

Well the kids needed socks.....and they are so inexpensive....i should get them each 3 PACKS of socks. Frankie needs a bunch of different socks because all of them bother his feet.... Oh wait look at these princess socks, Lia would love these!

NEXT Stop.....

Oh look little boy blazers....oh the boys don't have Easter Outfits but I'm sure these are too much...WAIT $14!  That's no bad!  Oh well they need something to put under the Blazers, $5 for this dress shirt?  That's not too bad.  Wait James doesn't have pants that match this...must get pants. 

NEXT

I hate CFL's they make my apartment look blue and cold.  Oh look they put a CFL in a round bulb to fake people out.  $20???  Oh wait here are regular bulbs....I hear they would make regular bulbs illegal.....I need to buy 20 bulbs since they are like $3 for 4.....20 Bulbs it is, they are so cheap anyway.  Batteries!  I could use some of these extra batteries

NEXT:

WOW A MINNIE DRESS..... Ok I did NOT buy the Minnie dress or the doctor set, or the cleaning set or the toy story set I wanted to get the kids...i had SOME self control

NEXT:

Ok where are the mash potatoes.  Wow one box $1.47....but look at these little .99 cent packages for when I'm feeling EXTRA lazy and don't even want to add the milk myself.  Lets throw 10 of those in here

REGISTER TIME:

Throw in a candy bar and a Diet Coke.....with NY States 8.63% sales tax......I came in over $100 all those socks.....Darn you TARGET!

It shouldn't even be a theory, it should be fact.  It could be that quiet time with out the big kids running around let me relax and makes me stay longer.  It could be that things are cheap so you in turn buy more.....OR it COULD be that they pump something into the air that alters your brain and makes you buy crap.  Who knows....all i know is my kids are going to have warm feet, belly's full of mash potatoes, warm looking light bulbs with no mercury (another topic, another time) and are going to look Awesome on Easter :)

Note: Got Dress 60% off at Macys.....ah those boys are going to look great!

I hate Schedules....I need a Schedule ahhhhh

What a conflict of interest.  I hate Schedules because I feel rushed, organization makes me feel good and anxious all at the same time.  Then days like today make it more apparent how much I might need a schedule.

Its seems lately that if even one thing is off, I can throw off an entire day...Like I will today.  At 9am I said I will get the kids ready and head to the store.  Then 9:15 rolled around and one was dressed, the other half dressed and me, well I was half dressed too.  Then I left Diego on so I could get fully dressed and then began to talk to my mother.  9:30 rolled around and now Diego #2 is on and kids are attached.  While Diego #2 is on and I am trying to get dressed, baby girl is rubbing the eyes which can only mean she needs to nap.  If I put her down for a nap I will be home for another 2 hours....if I don't put her down she will A. fall asleep in the car and freak out when I take her out or B. be in a horrible mood.  I need the stuff from the store to do what I had planned today so if I wait 2 hours I will be walking around aimlessly for 2 hours.

This would have all been ok if i just got out by 9 like I wanted to.  I feel like this is that Story "If you give a Mouse  Cookie".

If you don't follow your schedule, your kid will get hooked into Diego, if your kid gets hooked into Diego and you turn it off he will have a melt down, if he has a melt down you will have to ignore him, if you ignore him he will upset his sister, if he upsets his sister you will have 2 screaming children, if you have two screaming children you will get a headache and if you get a head ache you will never get to the store anyway....

I'm playing it by ear.....

My sons Autism is Beautiful

This is short, its my feelings and its going to be raw.  I let LP walk in the supermarket today.  I let him have the big brother job of helping mommy push the cart.  I knew today I needed to put on my big girl pants and walk with my son instead of tying him to a stroller or shopping cart.  I knew he needed to learn and I knew I needed to put my anxiety away, put my best foot forward and let it happen.  He helped me push and he put things in the cart.  He had his vocal stim moments and most people looked away or smiled and nodded.  I didn't really give a crap what they thought honestly.......

Now I lay here 5 hours later with hurt on my heart and holding back tears because of one woman in the store.  LP was shaking his head in a manic way and having a sensory overload issue.  A woman in I'd say her 50's looks at him, she looks concerned,confused and disgusted , she then looks at my daughter and says "Aw,  but you have the most beautiful baby"  She walks away........

But I have the most beautiful baby?  BUT???? BUT??  I have the most beautiful children lady.  I was still getting LP to relax, and relax he did.  I was more concerned about him that I never let her comment hit me.  He did so well, he even helped me check out the food in the self check out.  BUT.....I have never had someone compliment one child and not the other, BUT?  I feel like she was saying, oh well that sucks that that child is a maniac BUT this one is so beautiful.

Word to the wise, Mind your business if you cant be nice.  Because you don't know how much you can hurt someone.  My son is beautiful, his stims are beautiful, his tantrums are beautiful, his speech delay is beautiful, his jumping is beautiful, his chipped smile is beautiful and his Autism is Beautiful.  It's all Beautiful because he is part of me, he is part of my husband and he is ours.  I always think people are aware, and in my area most people are.....but there is always one.  Be Aware, my Sons Autism Makes him Beautiful.