When You Know Something Is Wrong

So this is the second time I have come across the issue of knowing something is up with another persons child.....and they do not.  I suppose I am lucky because neither person was a good friend by any means, but it still seems to make me feel odd.

The first time was at a baby play group, one mom kept saying her child was constantly hurting himself and other kids.  She went on and poured out all these emotions and concerns as her 18 month old son ran around haphazardly grunting.  She said "who do you call for early intervention".....and i handed over the number that was nicely stored in my phone.  I tried to comfort this woman, who was basically a stranger, and tell her it would be ok and he didn't seem so bad, it was probably nothing just a phase.  It was then I was mentally brought back to that same time in my life, the time when I looked at other moms and hoped they told me my son was fine.  They did.....they were lieing....and so did I.

This last time was at the doctors office on Wednesday while the kids were playing.  This little boy flapping around and spinning, spinning took a fancy to Frankie's Thomas trains that he left on the little play table.  Frankie caught wind and went over and took them back.  Little boy freaked out, FREAKED, not a normal freaked out either.  Mom came over and apologized and there I was seeing myself in another person.  She did this thing I use to do before I knew what was going on....I would talk out loud to myself pretending I was talking to the boy, maybe as a cry for help.  She said " are you hungry, not that you eat anything, not that you can tell me what you would want to eat.  Its not like you talk ever.  imagine a two year old who just doesn't want to talk"  Bells were going off in my head but of course this woman was a complete stranger.....

The question is what is that fine line.....when do you make a comment.  No one wants to hear Autism, I think you can throw a mom into tears or a fit of rage if you threw the idea of Autism their way.   I just wish there were rules....

My sons Autism is Beautiful

This is short, its my feelings and its going to be raw.  I let LP walk in the supermarket today.  I let him have the big brother job of helping mommy push the cart.  I knew today I needed to put on my big girl pants and walk with my son instead of tying him to a stroller or shopping cart.  I knew he needed to learn and I knew I needed to put my anxiety away, put my best foot forward and let it happen.  He helped me push and he put things in the cart.  He had his vocal stim moments and most people looked away or smiled and nodded.  I didn't really give a crap what they thought honestly.......

Now I lay here 5 hours later with hurt on my heart and holding back tears because of one woman in the store.  LP was shaking his head in a manic way and having a sensory overload issue.  A woman in I'd say her 50's looks at him, she looks concerned,confused and disgusted , she then looks at my daughter and says "Aw,  but you have the most beautiful baby"  She walks away........

But I have the most beautiful baby?  BUT???? BUT??  I have the most beautiful children lady.  I was still getting LP to relax, and relax he did.  I was more concerned about him that I never let her comment hit me.  He did so well, he even helped me check out the food in the self check out.  BUT.....I have never had someone compliment one child and not the other, BUT?  I feel like she was saying, oh well that sucks that that child is a maniac BUT this one is so beautiful.

Word to the wise, Mind your business if you cant be nice.  Because you don't know how much you can hurt someone.  My son is beautiful, his stims are beautiful, his tantrums are beautiful, his speech delay is beautiful, his jumping is beautiful, his chipped smile is beautiful and his Autism is Beautiful.  It's all Beautiful because he is part of me, he is part of my husband and he is ours.  I always think people are aware, and in my area most people are.....but there is always one.  Be Aware, my Sons Autism Makes him Beautiful.