Dear God, don't let me forget about my daughter

I wonder how siblings to Autistic children feel. I pray everyday that I don't put my daughter second, that I don't forget her in the chaos. She has grown so fast, and I can't help but feel like her first year is overshadowed by an Autism diagnosis. Just shy of her turning 4 months old our world was changed and I began a crusade to help my son, with an infant strapped to my chest on a Moby wrap.

Sometimes I feel like I put him first, my worry, my time, my fears, all about him. Recently she has begun screaming, attention screaming. The kind of screaming that makes you cringe, all because she wants you took look at her. She is refusing whole milk and now foods she use to eat. I just keep thinking whatever she will grow out of is and get more worried about Frankies non eating and behavioral issues. My big fear is that even though she is talking, maybe she too is having sensory issues and I will miss it because I'm so wrapped up in the boy.

I love them both, just the same. I know I am a good mommy to them both, but it's a fear. A fear I'm sure many of us have even with only typical kids. I wish we got grades on parenting so I could see my performance in grade form. I pray I am a good mommy to my babies, that I never put one before the other and that they both understand the love I have for them in eternal and never ending.....even when mommy is having a grumpy day <3

Our Atypically Typical Thursday......

Ok it was Typical but, so wacky....I'm not sure what was better......maybe i rather have the Atypical day.  So we woke up and LP had his bowl of cereal and yogurt with the magic stuff mixed in.  That morning we didn't have a morning session because One of the ladies was on vacation so it was just us and the kids.  I spend the morning.....well day actually.....placing my son on the toilet every 30 minutes trying to get him to pee in it.  He is too smart......he was holding it in  and peeing in the pull up after he would sit....ugh Drive me crazy!

A few hours into our day my son decided he was going to play.  He asked me for "duh basket" which is a noodle bucket his teacher brought filled with pasta and small toys.  Well that's when the magic started!  If you follow my facebook I posted a video of LP playing appropriately, its just too funny!  If you didn't see it, here it is! 

Afternoon rolls around and Speech comes and she decides that we should go play with the girl next door who's brother is also one of her students.  I've mentioned before that there are 5 kids on my block on the spectrum, we share therapists.  So we went to play with Girl Next door (GN) who is only 2 months younger then my son....she is really the cutest, and so patient.  GN says she wants to play hopscotch.....that's a new word for LP.  We tell her to show LP how to hop.....which she does!  Now this is the same kid that 2 months ago when evaluated for PT could NOT hop forward.....here he is now hopping behind GN all the way to her house.  Hop, Hop, Hop.......they stop, he looks at her and gives her a big hug.  I  melt, I think my son should grow up and marry GN.  Being that her brother is on the spectrum I think she would be the perfect wife, she would know how to deal with him.....and deal she did.  She let him jump and run away form her, she had a conversation with him (we fed them both the dialogue), it was fantastic.  They ran back to GN's house and played on the swing for a few minutes.  GN's mom is pregnant with baby #4......God Bless her, I don't know how she does it, she looks great.  I can't believe he played, he played with a girl and he had a good time!

Later I brought him to Target and decided since he was doing so well that I would let him walk, and walk he did.  Ok, maybe he hopped, now all he wanted to do was hop, hop hop hop and talk about Auto Zone (he memorizes commercials he sees only once ) and tasting the rainbow.  Hopping around the store saying things in full sentences, "why you do that mama"  "that fall down mama" "ooo That's sister, she crying"  "look mama, shampoo ooo Conditoning (conditioner)  "  I was dying, he was cracking me up, hopping around being a 3 year old.  His behaviors weren't even spectrum behaviors, they were three year old behaviors!!!

Great day!  My only issue was at night I gave him behavior balance.....which I read was a stimulant.  So he fell asleep, only to wake up 1/2 hour later shaking and crying as if he had a nightmare.  He was talking in jargon and doing weird shoulder things.  I don't think it was the medicine, he took some today and nothing happened.

I fell asleep after I wrote the above and now have lost my train of though.....well Enjoy your Saturday!!