Typical Shmipical

I was getting depressed for a minute.  This is a bad time of year for me, its IEP time....and this year I should have been signing my son up for Kindergarten.  So with my mind in that yucky place, the place where i go through a million pages of paper work that point out all of my sons deficiencies with a few "he's such a sweet happy boy"s thrown in.  I read another blog post about our kids having issues playing sports and how mothers of typical kids shouldn't complain because our kids can't play team sports.  Then I came upon this......

Then I almost started crying.  I already had my gears working in my head about how when Frankie is an adult I can buy this house from my mom and stepfather and then Frankie can live in the apartment that is our apartment now since he is DOOMED to never get married or be a capable adult. 

Then I snapped out of it.  I suppose this photo was made for shock value.  It was made to freak people into awareness.  I'm not a big fan of freaking people out, because I DON'T like being freaked out.

 My son CAN play team sports, he plays sports with his fellow ASD friends.  Is it as fluid and organized as typical soccer....NO....but hes gaining social skills and there is no one to giggle at him when he runs to the wrong goal.  My neighbors son who is on the spectrum is 9.....and guess what, he plays football with typical kids.  Here is a secret, I am "typical" and I am terrible at sports.  My sport was swimming.....I was on swim team , which is an isolating sport.  My event was the 500, 20 laps, 7+minutes to be alone with my thoughts.  My son could have been born typical and STILL been crappy at teams sports, just like his mama.  :)

As for the photo....Most people will not achieve their dream or traveling the world because of finances and Life not Autism.   Many typical children won't live independently because its easier to live with mom and dad not because of Autism.  Many will not serve their country because they don't believe in war not Autism.  Many will not be leaders because honestly, being a follower is easier not because of Autism.  Some men will not fall in love, get married or raise kids because they like the bachelor lifestyle (that our culture glorifies) not because of Autism. 

I could have birthed a child who was completely typical and he too could have never done any of the above.  There is no point for me to be sitting here worrying about what he wont do.  I will never be helping my son on focusing on what he may not do. 

Typical Frankie could have been great at sports, done to a D1 school for football and injured himself his first year.  He could have then decided to pursue a career in rap while living in my basement.  As his career didn't flourish and he worked at the bank near by he would have met several girls at the club and decided living the playa lifestyle was the way to go.  He would go on to make decent money at the bank but never chose management because there is too much stress and just sitting back collecting money is easier.  He would toy with the idea of buying a house and then realizes with taxes being about 10k a year and houses averaging 400k in our area he may as well stay in the one bedroom  apartment in my basement.  At 50 he will find a woman to be his old age companion but still refuses to get married.  They stay in our house because at that point we will be in our 70's and we need some help.........

Frankie with Autism got thousands of hours of therapy in his first years of life.  He had to struggle a little harder to socialize and be on par with the rest of his peers.  In HS he had a few friends and excelled in academics.  He went to college and chose a career path where he could work and excel and his job was not socially centered, more technical.  He became a leader in his field because of his intelligence, not so much social skills.  He marries a childhood friend who also has ASD, they understand each other and have similar issues.  They have children who they monitor closely (maybe choose not to vaccinate or feed Gluten too lol) and they make enough money to put me and my husband in a fancy assisted living situation and never have to move back in ;)

Neither one of these might happen, but the truth is my sons Autism won't define his life.  I can't sit here and worry about the future, I need to be here for my son today.  I don't think scaring people about Autism is the way to get our voices heard.  It was because of those shock tactics that when i realized my son had Autism I sobbed and made the assumption he would never speak (we see that didn't happen).  I'm done comparing myself to other moms and I'm done comparing my son to other kids, he is Frankie, plain and simple, he will find his way in life and I will love whatever path he takes.

Evolution

February will mark out 2 year Autiversary..... Oh the way how life has changed and Children have grown (and been born)

I stopped blogging in January of last year because I was really tired of complaining or reading other blogs that were on a constant reel of complaining.  Complaining and being negative is bad for your energy.... everyones energy and being newly pregnant, I knew it was not good for me.

Yes, when your child is first diagnosed it is stressful.  You can sit there and blame genetics, vaccines, the enviroment.  In the end I can't change it, I can't take it back  and crying and wallowing won't fix it.

So, this is evolution.  Yes I am mainly an Autism blog, but Autism is not my LIFE.  Autism is good chunk of it, my sons issues consume a lot of my time, but, just like it doesn't define him, it doesn't define me.  I'll be posting about OTHER things, other children, being a mommy, being a Christian, my job, products that rock, my husband, how terrible people drive, set backs,  progress and stupid pictures of myself with things like Pineapples and hanging out upside down..... just because I'm Neurotypical doesn't mean I'm not weird.

What is a Neurotypical Mom?

What is a Neurotypcal Mom? A NT Mom has a child or two or more on the Spectrum, maybe she even has a husband or a sibling on it too. She is smart and beautiful inside and out. She loves her children both diverse and typical. She wakes up every morning regardless of how she feels. There are days the stress is too much to bear and others that bring great joy. She spends hours implementing therapies and seeing doctors. She becomes a nutritionist who sorts through foods, reads labels, mixes supplements and vitamins to recover her child's gut. She is an advocate for more education and awareness. She worries for her child future but is hopeful her child will shine. She smiles,laughs and cries, everyday is a surprise. She is a warrior whos knowledge and wisdom grow as the years go by. She is there to hold the hands of the parents of the newly diagnosed, to help them through the fog. She is fantastic, she is superior, she is the best thing since sliced bread. I am The Neurotypical Mom and So are You!!

Our Atypically Typical Thursday......

Ok it was Typical but, so wacky....I'm not sure what was better......maybe i rather have the Atypical day.  So we woke up and LP had his bowl of cereal and yogurt with the magic stuff mixed in.  That morning we didn't have a morning session because One of the ladies was on vacation so it was just us and the kids.  I spend the morning.....well day actually.....placing my son on the toilet every 30 minutes trying to get him to pee in it.  He is too smart......he was holding it in  and peeing in the pull up after he would sit....ugh Drive me crazy!

A few hours into our day my son decided he was going to play.  He asked me for "duh basket" which is a noodle bucket his teacher brought filled with pasta and small toys.  Well that's when the magic started!  If you follow my facebook I posted a video of LP playing appropriately, its just too funny!  If you didn't see it, here it is! 

Afternoon rolls around and Speech comes and she decides that we should go play with the girl next door who's brother is also one of her students.  I've mentioned before that there are 5 kids on my block on the spectrum, we share therapists.  So we went to play with Girl Next door (GN) who is only 2 months younger then my son....she is really the cutest, and so patient.  GN says she wants to play hopscotch.....that's a new word for LP.  We tell her to show LP how to hop.....which she does!  Now this is the same kid that 2 months ago when evaluated for PT could NOT hop forward.....here he is now hopping behind GN all the way to her house.  Hop, Hop, Hop.......they stop, he looks at her and gives her a big hug.  I  melt, I think my son should grow up and marry GN.  Being that her brother is on the spectrum I think she would be the perfect wife, she would know how to deal with him.....and deal she did.  She let him jump and run away form her, she had a conversation with him (we fed them both the dialogue), it was fantastic.  They ran back to GN's house and played on the swing for a few minutes.  GN's mom is pregnant with baby #4......God Bless her, I don't know how she does it, she looks great.  I can't believe he played, he played with a girl and he had a good time!

Later I brought him to Target and decided since he was doing so well that I would let him walk, and walk he did.  Ok, maybe he hopped, now all he wanted to do was hop, hop hop hop and talk about Auto Zone (he memorizes commercials he sees only once ) and tasting the rainbow.  Hopping around the store saying things in full sentences, "why you do that mama"  "that fall down mama" "ooo That's sister, she crying"  "look mama, shampoo ooo Conditoning (conditioner)  "  I was dying, he was cracking me up, hopping around being a 3 year old.  His behaviors weren't even spectrum behaviors, they were three year old behaviors!!!

Great day!  My only issue was at night I gave him behavior balance.....which I read was a stimulant.  So he fell asleep, only to wake up 1/2 hour later shaking and crying as if he had a nightmare.  He was talking in jargon and doing weird shoulder things.  I don't think it was the medicine, he took some today and nothing happened.

I fell asleep after I wrote the above and now have lost my train of though.....well Enjoy your Saturday!!

The Story of Diagnosis

On July 6th 2008 I was handed a beautiful 7lb 3oz baby boy. A boy, who I knew would have me wrapped around his finger for the rest of his life. My Little Professor (LP for Blog purposes) grew typically till around 9 months after he received a Flu shot (something I will go into another time). LP ended up in the ER a week after the vax with Bronchiolitis and low oxygen, a month after that he started vomiting on and off for 3 weeks with no explanation. At this point the chronic ear infection, which went on constantly for 10 months began, it was only till i stopped vaccinating him did the ear infections end.

It was at this point that LP's development rapidly slowed down. He never had the typical regression of skills like a lot of children with Autism do, instead its like time stood still. His body grew, but his speech did not. He learned to walk, but constantly fell or got hurt. He knew his name but never turned when called. He did risky things, without understanding the idea that things hurt. His behavior was beastly and regardless of the amount of time out, scolding or spanking he didn't improve.

The idea of Autism came into my mind when LP was 15 months old. I couldn't see how it could be true, he was cuddly and happy, he seemed so smart. I was told by doctors , friends, grandparents that boys develop speech slower, that it was normal, that the behavior was because of lack of discipline etc.

I believed it until LP was 2.5 and had him evaluated through Early Intervention. May I say, those who live in NY state are so blessed with the Early Intervention programs we have......if you are thinking of moving to get better services, NY is a good place to be. Only after 2 evaluations, one by a psychologist and a second by a Speech Therapist ,did reality really hit. LP was placed on the Autism Spectrum.......his Receptive Language was placed at about a 9-12 month level and his expressive at 15-18months......that was like a punch in the stomach. It was recommended he receive 10 x 90min session of ABA a week with 1 hour of parent training and 2 x 45 min speech sessions. This was another blow.....2x a day for 90min each session I would have strangers in my house, some days i would have 3 different therapist for a total of 4+ hours invading my personal space and bonding with my new baby( I had just had my daughter 3 months prior ).

So It began in February....and my son has progressed in Leaps and Bounds. Seems intelligence was never an issue, he is as a say a Little Professor. He has a knack for memorization and letters. He can read, and memorize about everything....today he told me to "taste the rainbow". ABA has been a blessing in terms of his behavior. Though his new found speech is a lot of memorized sentences and phrases and not as functional as it should be, I get to finally hear my sons voice. I always wondered what he sounded like.

Friday Is the day we meet about the transition from Early Intervention to our school district.....this will be my first fight of what I'm sure will be many. Wish me luck! New Chapters are always fun :/

Allow me to re-introduce myself my name is.......Mom

My name is Mom......Neurotypical Mom. The Mother of a soon to be 3 year old son on the spectrum and a (so far) NT 9 month old daughter. The Wife to a wonderfully different husband, who after much research, we believe is also on the spectrum.

Life has not been easy, but I dont think its suppose to be. Everyday is something new, good and bad. Even with the struggles, I would never change a thing......this is our life, this is our story.

I love you all.....

<3 NT MOM