NO mama

There is a new issue we are having.....its a Verbal child.  In the last week my son has accidentally let the cat out of the bag....he can answer yes or no questions and he has a sense of humor.  Now don't get me wrong I am SUPER happy about this, but it is posing a new set of issues that I wasn't exactly ready for.

Last week I blogged about the first real conversation I had with the boy here.  So instead of doing something I want him to do, instead of just following my lead while whining he can now say "No, I rather play trains".....um ok well NO, Mama rather you go potty.  I use to put food in front of him and he freaked out.  Then I realized chicken was always a sure thing....and then he realized he had options.  I started giving him options and now I get "no chicken, i want Cereal"......you cant eat cereal for dinner, what do you want for dinner "I want Crackers!"....no, no crackers how about Chicken "NOOOOOO, No chicken, 'Nola Bars".  AHHH......I'm so excited we can have these arguments, I really am, I am so thankful to God that he has given my son a voice, but now what?

So now he is having meltdowns because he realized he has options and I wont let him have them.  I'm not sure which ones are harder.  I guess the non verbal ones were worse because I had no idea what the issue was, now I know but I still don't know how to fix it.  I'm off to the super market to find new options, hopefully if he doesn't eat them Lia will.

As for the sense of Humor.......Mr. Smarty pants has mastered matching...letters to word sounds etc. Except now he will pretend he doesn't know.  He will purposely match the wrong things and say "uh.....no that is not a match"(insert hysterical laughing here).... Q and Chicken....THAT NOT A MATCH HAHAHAHAHA!  He's too funny.  At our last Appointment to talk about his development he kept turning the lights off in the doctors office.  He would turn the light off and laugh and say "oh no its soooo very Dark in here!!!"  Fantastic kid, I am trying to discuss your mitochondria.  Eventually I had to stand up in front of the switch which got him annoyed.  Frankie yelled at me he pointed to the char and yelled "No, mama, You sit down, NOW"......Dr. Jassey said " i see he has progressed in language" Lol....yes yes he has.

I guess with anything, this is a new chapter, I'm just on the first page....I'll figure it out, I always do.

My Coping Skill are Fine Thank You

 

I was laying in bed with my boy having a fantastic cuddle time when we decided to check the Blog out.  The comments are great, the encouragement and compliments are greatly appreciated and then I stumbled on this comment from "Puzzled" : 

"I'm not laughing with you. I agree that a well-placed joke can help lighten a stressful situation. But, such jokes are usually self-effacing, or are otherwise between friends. From the quips you have shared above you risk appearing arrogant, defiant and self indulgent. When any child harms someone else, whether the child is on the spectrum, has ADHD, Downs Syndrome, or any of the range of cognitive or behavioural disorders, you should be careful not to appear to dismiss & mock the situation. Learn a better coping strategy & you will get a great deal more support if you respond with maturity & humility. If you feel mortified & like you want to cry, just say that! Why is it unpalatable to be honest about autism? Your comment to a stranger, "well I guess insurance would get her a new house... awesome", was in poor taste. Yet you are critical when people won't indulge you? This whole 'they don't walk in my shoes' mentality is destructive and does not give us license to treat others with contempt."

Now for my rebuttal.   I was very taken aback by many of the assumptions made in regards to my blog post.  Granted I know you didn't say that I actually was arrogant, defiant or self indulgent but to make the comment that I could be seen as those lovely adjectives was a tad bit harsh.  I think by assuming you know everything about my situation and who I am by one blog post can be seen as Arrogant.  

Never in that post did I say that I don't fix my sons behaviors.  If and when my son hurts another child or person the proper measures are taken to insure that he understands it was NOT ok and that it does not happen again.  As for the candle incident I was not there, my in laws had my son, I was told about it hours later.  If I was there I WOULD NOT dismiss the situation that occurred and I would take care of it properly according to our behavioral plan.  As for the stranger that gave me a look, maybe I was harsh towards her.....but she is also the same woman who kneed my one year old daughter in the face because she ASSUMED she was a Dog.  Why thinking kneeing a 10 pound dog is acceptable either is beyond me, but I digress. 

You ask why it is "unpalatable" to be honest about Autism....I am being honest about Autism.  This is it....I'm laying it all out for ya right here.  My coping skills are fine, this is my coping skills.  I am not saying it is not ok to cry, but I rather have my children and my husband see me as a happy mother then a mother who is sobbing in self wallowing pitty day in and day out because my son has run into the street over and over no matter how many times the issue is corrected, over corrected, disciplined, ignored.....I refuse to let this take over who I am as a person so that I can cry all day.  Because THAT IS AUTISM, a crappy disorder that can bring a Grown man to his knees in tears.  

I have no Idea if you have a child on the spectrum, nor am I going to assume you do or you don't.  The comment you made:

"This whole 'they don't walk in my shoes' mentality is destructive and does not give us license to treat others with contempt.""

 is garbage.  I never have held others in contempt.  Constantly I have strangers mouth off to me about my son.  They ask why he doesn't talk, why is he screaming, why is he spinning, he should be nicer, he should be quiet, he should not be running.  They roll their eyes at me, they give me looks of disgust and the ENTIRE TIME I shut my mouth and say nothing as to be respectful.  Don't you think its those people who are taking license to treat me and my child with contempt?  Just a thought.  

And here some more fuel for your fire...see that picture.  That was before my son was diagnosed.  That day I was so frustrated with him, he was non verbal, extremely stimmy, throwing things, slamming his head into the wall.....I remember it was just a horrific day.  SO I took a pic and sent it to my cousin and told her I was sending him on the train to her and he would be there in 45 minutes, just look for the sign that said "Murray".  And after I took this pic I took the sign off and cuddled with my son and told him I LOVED him more than anything, and then I CRIED and rocked my baby to sleep because I had no idea what was wrong with him or how to fix it.....2 months later I found out what was wrong, and I STILL don't know how to fix it.  This is my life and Im going to laugh.   Thank you.

Progress every day

The Boy is hysterical today!  Today my son played and peed.....oh and he drew pictures too!  Like I said in the prior post, I was basically home all day.  So we did the potty every 30 minutes and little man went 6 times!  One of those times he actually pooped.....well only a little.  The kids going to give himself hemorrhoids, he things he has to push to get pee pee out.  Tried not to laugh, I giggled a little, all he wanted was candy. 

He played Little People Mall most of the day.  Setting up the people in a car and driving them around.  He is so funny, he told me an octopus was a Pizza man, not too sure where he got that from.  His play skills are coming along beautifully!

Lastly tonight he was drawing with his Magnadoodle and i had to bust out laughing.  First he is Screaming "MAMA, WIA (how he says Baby Divas name), DADDY!" over and over.  So me and Baby Diva head over to his room and he looks at me and says "Mama, Wia, Wheres Daddy?....DADDY!!!!!"  I laughed out of joy, I can not believe he said that!  It made sense, it was appropriate!  Earlier he had said "daddy what happened?" when Baby Diva was crying......I wasn't sure if it was directed at her, but this time I knew.  So he wanted us to come in so he could show us his drawings......which all looked like ovals to us but, he was proud.  I posted them below.....Enjoy the Art show.  I laughed my butt off at the happy camel face!

This is the SUN

This is "Make Dots"

 This is "Camel, Happy Face"

 This is "A Shell"

 This is "A Walrus".....um ok looks like another oval