My Second Boy

I was concerned about having a third child.  My concern was that the third child would be male, that he would have a higher risk of developing a Spectrum Disorder.

Only Time will tell, but let me tell you....he is 3 months old and he talks up a baby storm.  He is also enormous and I'm lucky that the kids love him.

Our Newst Edition!

This is James Garrett!

Came into the world 8/11/12

8lbs 8oz

We area all adjusting well.......well Lia is a little pissed :D

Is Three a Charm?

No, I'm not pregnant, nor are we even talking about getting pregnant.  The thing is today I had a mini melt down as I was packing Frankie's summer clothes away to be shipped off to someone else.  In the past year I have just gotten rid of clothes and stopped saving them for "the next baby" like I use to.  Even with Lia, I kept the things i thought were cute and shipped the rest away to family who had a baby girl.

So in the mess of emotions and anxiety I called my mom and said I'm keeping the last season of clothes.  She said she would store them, basically I have boxes of clothes stashed in various relatives houses with the cute items I cant let go of. 

Then the emotions came up, should we ever contemplate another child in the future or should I throw in the towel.  At 27 and 29 we didn't feel we should make a permanent decision, but with one child on the spectrum and one with a Diva attitude (I kid, sort of) should we chance a 3rd?  And if that 3rd was a boy, who grew to be typical, who grew to be the things we dreamed for  Frankie, would it feel like we replaced our first son?  And am I a horrible mother for assuming that Frankie wouldn't grow up to achieve greatness....

A Ball of emotions, that is me today.  This happens every time i switch the clothes out.  I don't know what it is about them.  I'm not a psychic of any sorts but I can hold things and it will flood me with emotions and memories, i just cant let the clothes go.

I'm keeping them, time will tell.  Right now, i just don't know

My son Typically loves his sister.......and typically knocks her over too

These are my children....Little Professor and Baby Diva. I had Baby Diva before LP's diagnosis. When I got pregnant with Baby Diva I just figured LP would grow out of these horrible behaviors and constant anxiety. I was convinced his speech would start soon considering here he was at 18 months and he knew the entire alphabet (who knew knowing the alphabet so young was a red flag?!?!) The actual day I found out I was pregnant my son tripped on his own feet and broke his tooth in half at a wedding...he screamed for the remainder of the night till he fell asleep in my arms. That day still pains me, that day was one of those days I would think "something is not right with my child".

A positive pregnancy test and all I thought was, how will my son handle this. My husbands response was "relax, you have 9 months to figure it out". For the next 9 months I freaked out...literally. Still making excuses for my sons behaviors as he became clingyer then ever and still no words. On the morning of September 29th when I started having cramps as I lay cuddled in bed with my little son, I remember thinking I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for the sibling rivalry, the crying nights up, the jealousy, the idea of having to carry 2 kids (not sure why i was thinking that)

Exactly 12 hours from the first feelings of cramps my Daughter was born 7lbs 6 oz and loud as hell, she made quite a grumpy entrance(LP was born crying a little, but very observant, taking in everything, I remember thinking he looked like that baby alien from Men in Black). My husband brought LP the next morning....I was so nervous, how would he act, what would he do?? Well he tried to climb into her bassinet that's what haha


We came home and not one thing I worried about happened. He loved her, he would drag people to her and push their hands and make them touch her. I Nursed her and he didn't care, i carried her and he walked, i rocked her and he would climb up and make sure not to hurt her.

Magically it was perfect......but I can say that with therapy he has talking and expressing himself....especially in a big brother bossy way. Now that Baby Diva is mobile I hear a lot more crying in my home....along with words like, no, mine, go to sleep, go way, ew yucky baby. When I look over my son is usually taking something from his sister or pushing her to go play away from him. I suppose on a positive note, when I brought this behavior up to his therapists i was told this is what a typical 3 year old big brother would do.....Wowee, my son is exhibiting typical behaviors!!! :)

In the end, I've said it many times, LP needed Baby Diva. Her birth brought a gentleness to him that i had not seen prior. Much of his early spontaneous language was directed at her and for once, he has a real friend. I pray they stay this close forever.