Apparently, its one or the other

So after night 3 of Melatonin.....my son is SUPER well rested.

This means mornings are pleasant.  The kids eat and get ready for school with out tears.  With that being said...it seems all that extra needed sleep has caused TONS of extra energy!

It seems with Autism, if its not one thing its another.  When his language came his behaviors got worse, when his behaviors are good, his emotions are out of wack.

I suppose I shoudl get use to this.  SO I sleep at night but he's bouncing off couches while awake.
Not sure whats better.....

Evolution

February will mark out 2 year Autiversary..... Oh the way how life has changed and Children have grown (and been born)

I stopped blogging in January of last year because I was really tired of complaining or reading other blogs that were on a constant reel of complaining.  Complaining and being negative is bad for your energy.... everyones energy and being newly pregnant, I knew it was not good for me.

Yes, when your child is first diagnosed it is stressful.  You can sit there and blame genetics, vaccines, the enviroment.  In the end I can't change it, I can't take it back  and crying and wallowing won't fix it.

So, this is evolution.  Yes I am mainly an Autism blog, but Autism is not my LIFE.  Autism is good chunk of it, my sons issues consume a lot of my time, but, just like it doesn't define him, it doesn't define me.  I'll be posting about OTHER things, other children, being a mommy, being a Christian, my job, products that rock, my husband, how terrible people drive, set backs,  progress and stupid pictures of myself with things like Pineapples and hanging out upside down..... just because I'm Neurotypical doesn't mean I'm not weird.

I'll take Overwhelmed for $1,000 Alex

"This woman Hasn't finished school paperwork,  has Early intervention ending in two days, has a daughter with 102 fever for 2 days,  Drove 45 minutes each way 2x last week to go to a Neurologist and is completely overwhelmed "......."WHO IS The Neurotypical Mom"!

I've been meaning to write and then something comes up.  I have a huge issue with being easily overwhelmed.  When too many things are on my plate, I literally freeze up and do nothing.  I need to bring in the paperwork for Frankie's school tomorrow, but being in the process of changing doctors has left me confused on who to get to fill out the physical form.  New Dr wont see him till the 12th, I cant find the stupid transportation paper work....I have a headache.   Speaking of headaches, I have had one for 3 days.  I thought maybe it was the hurricane, all the pressure in the air, all the news media making me INSANE.  They freaked us out, our grocery store shelves were empty, we all freaked.  Now granted the ocean broke the boardwalk and there are people who are still out of power and will not get it back till Friday the earliest......no one died and our homes are still here.

Lia had a fever all day yesterday, which spiked to 102.5 around 6pm.  Ran to Dr today who said it wasn't ears or strep but her throat is red......awesome.....so it continues to hover around 102 every time the Motrin wears off.  If in 2 days its still here I have to go back.

EEG went well, separate blog on that, I promise.  My baby starts school in a week and a day.  I'm trying to hold back tears.  This is not fair, I am not ready, I think I might have to be sad for a little.  My emotions are all over the place :(

Playdate or Play Disaster?

Ahhhh, this is my son at around 18 months.....around the time I believed that he had started the terrible twos early.  I think this may have been one of the last play dates I went on.....that is up until recently.

I remember being afraid to bring him places, afraid of what he might do or react.  At around 18-22 months he was a huge pusher/hitter.  Unless I was literally on top of him, I ran the risk of him hurting another child.  I always felt like other moms thought I was blowing them off, and I suppose in a sense I did.  I would "forget" or make up excuses all because I didn't want people to look at me and think I was a bad parent, at that point I thought I was.

I can remember one time I was brought to tears because I thought my child must be insane.  I met up with some friends at a local strip mall to have breakfast and go baby shopping (I was about 5 months pregnant at this point).  LP must have been about 21 months old and for some reason i felt like it was a good idea to take him out of my car with out his stroller.  I suppose I wanted to look normal and stupidly thought my son could handle walking.  So walk we did and we had breakfast.....well I had breakfast and he stared at some birds and ran around and ignored everything I said.  I could see the disapproval in the eyes of my friends, I heard then implying I was not putting my foot down and that my son just needed tough love.  After we ate I wanted to go get the stroller because the idea of walking around with this kid seemed impossible.  Once again I listened to others who said my son needed to get over it and i had to stop babying him.  Well let me tell you that's the last time I don't trust my instinct.  Here I was, pregnant in the heat, dragging a screaming toddler who had no language and no way to communicate to me.  He tried to run off in the parking lot, he slammed his head on the floor.....and the whole time I was stared at, everyone thinking I made my child like this.  It was the first time I felt so embarrassed at my child, if I had known the problem I wouldn't have been, but at that point I thought it was all my fault and that my child was horrible.  I did not leave my house to be with people that weren't family for another 7 months.......because 7 months later I found out this wasn't my fault.

Things are better now that we get ABA, I can take my boy out with friends, I can take him to the park.  Its not always easy and sometimes I have to leave.  For those who are just starting this journey, always remember to trust your gut.  Also remember to tell people what they can do with their opinions.  A lot of the mourning and crying I did was over the fact that i listened to others and believed I had a demon child and treated him as such.  I'm not proud of secluding him or myself, I'm not proud of how I treated him.  I felt I hurt him those months where I resorted to punishing him and spanking him because that had to be the way if he wasn't responding to everything else.

If you are the parent, remember what i said, listen to yourself forget everyone else and take you kid out to see the things they love.  If they melt down, if someone looks at you or comments, tell them where to go.  And if you are one of those people who is in the store or the park that wants to open their mouth about how someones kid is acting, shut your mouth and turn your head.  Even if that persons kid does not have special needs.....no one wants to hear how you think they suck at parenting.