Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Giving Money to Those who Need?

The back story to yesterdays Question goes like this:

Maybe I shouldn't have asked if you give money to Pan handlers because that's not really what the woman i saw was.

There have been times where i went to pay for something and didn't have enough money.  At least twice its happened at Walgreens, where I walked out all red faced and wished I was the recipient of a person wanting to give out good gestures and pay for my children's diapers.  Any time this has happened, I've said to God out loud, "God, please, if there ever is a person in front of me who is embarrassed like that, please let me have enough money to pay their tab. 

Its never happened......Then yesterday, I ran to walgreens to get diapers of course.  I counted my cash and was pleasantly surprised at how much money I had from painting, I thought maybe I'd buy myself a present for being awesome, maybe some makeup. 

I get to the door and see a woman in her 50's or early 60's smoking a cigarette and shaking, she looked like she had been through the mill.    People are ignoring her and walking away.  She comes up to me and says "Miss, my car is out of gas over in the villas, i just need to get home can I have a few dollars I can........"  Before she finished I blindly reached in my wallet and handed her enough money to get her a half tank in a small car I'm sure....I said, "just take it" and walked away. 

IT was only after that I started thinking maybe she was a career panhandler, with some sob story that wasn't true.  I'm over it now, I rather believe she had no gas and here is why.

This past year was SUPER Shitty for us.  My husband lost 2 jobs and then the Third filed for Bankrupcy protection....all while our paychecks were bouncing all over the place.  I had started my own second business (my first is Thirty-OnePainting Furniture to make money for things like Pre-school.  Then the company going bankrupt let go half their staff...... Here I was in November, with $124 in the bank with no Christmas gifts for anyone and barley enough money to purchase food since I have a kid with a fancy allergy to Wheat.

I busted my rear painting but was stuck in the predicament of not having the $ to buy the supplies, but not having the portfolio or experience to be demanding large deposits.  SO, I Internet panhandled.

I said a prayer and set up an Indegogo.  I want to add I did not ask family for $ at this point, I don't want people to think they wouldn't help (because they actually did!) but I'm too prideful to ask them to help AGAIN.  My request was for people to help me start my business.  I didn't want people to blindly give me money and think I was going to go wild with it.  I in all honesty wanted to be able to buy supplies so I could work.  You know that whole "if you teach a man to fish " thing.....that  was my idea.

After 25 days, I had three donations....all three from wonderful bloggers who saw a woman in need....not a mooch.  There are a few blogs where people are constantly asking for money, I'm not talking a donate button, i mean True asking constantly.  They become professional pan handlers of the Internet, just like the ones you see in the city.

Here I was, a mom, asking humbly for help and I was ignored because of how people were burned by professional pan handlers.

Like me, I didn't know if this woman was a pro or really out of gas.  What if i just ignored her because I had been scammed before?  So I blindly gave, because people blindly trusted and gave to me.

Its been a few months but, Thank you P, B, &M.  Your help, even if you thought it was small, really cheered a sister up and gave me a little boost.  In The Park is doing amazing and I have you to thank :)

Monday, February 3, 2014


I read a blog not too long ago (but long enough ago for me to forget which one) regarding how PERFECT Instagram can make our lives look.  While I'm sure this topic has been covered many times before, I am going to go as far to say that ALL Social Media sites Skew reality.....we know this right?

Even with us all knowing that what we see on out computer/phone/tablet screens is superficial crap we still feel the pangs of jealousy and longing for our lives to be just as perfect as everyone elses.  I see families of perfect children smiling in perfect outfits  in front of a perfect houses and cringe....why is that not us?

 Why, why, why?  Why are my kids messy?  Why are the kids defiant?  Why cant I manage to do my hair every day?  Why am I not baking some awesomeness for my family?  Why am I a short order cook?  Why is the highlight of my day peeing alone?  Why don't I have a bigger house? Why do I answer the phone like a nasty person?  Why am I overweight?  Why am I not into Crossfit?  Why do I really love savory foods that then land on my hips?  Why don't I home school?  Why didn't I go back to school?   Why WHY does everyone elses life look better then Mine?

Why?  because its not reality.  Because a lot of it is showing off.  I'm not sure if we are looking for acceptance when we post how friggen awesome we are or some sort of validation.  I'm lead to believe is a little of both, but we never realize how crappy we can make others feel....because no one is perfect. 

   I could go on forever on this but let me zoom in on the perfect family photo Phenomena.  I actually do have a few beautiful family photos of the five of us frolicking in the sand.  I don't know how people perceive us because I don't bother to ask and most of the time I don't care.  Its possible that someone may be jealous of these gorgeous photos of us and our children, they look so perfect but let me break it down for you......

On this July day I put all my kids in the car...dressed in friggen WHITE.  I then had to convince my husband it would be fun since on his only day off he had to now have a photo shoot and he thought he needed a hair cut.

Get to the beach to meet our beautiful and talented photographer Kimberly Jean.   My oldest is now off the wall hyper and excited to see her.  Walk 10 miles to the beach site (ok not really) with 3 reluctant children who want Cheetos (they are wearing WHITE).  Take pictures of the baby who is always pretty compliant as the two older children are running through beach grass and picking up tics I'm sure.  Just as we are getting ok with the set up Mosquitos pop up.  Because the photographer is smarter then me, she has bug spray on hand....now spray reluctant kids with bug spray, screaming ensues.  Move to dunes....kids are rolling in dunes, I am having an anxiety attack at the thought of Lyme disease.

Oh look they are hugging..... five seconds later someones being pushed down a sand dune.  As for us getting a group photo, those 2 above were picked out of several shots.  The standing one was achieved by letting Frankie run from the top of the dune down the mountain where I screamed that I was FULL of Helium and he needed to hold on to my leg so I wouldn't float away.....yes that's 100% true.  While the second was us and three very hyper kids,  convulsing and squirming to get out of our arms as we both laughed in disbelief because this is too crazy.  Please God make it stop and pray that this photo shoot comes out ok.

There are so many others that came out perfect through all that and I posted every single one of them to portray My perfect Family.  I mean seriously, we look like some  family models or something.  Then Christmas came and I posted this one....

Right before my son went running through a tree farm demanding we find some treasure....after my youngest threw himself off the box and all during the time my daughter was making these horrible faces.

All of the above are split seconds of what looks like perfection.....in reality its just chaos, real life, honest to God chaos.  Something we all live with and should embrace instead of trying to hide.

I stopped trying to be perfect on social media a long time ago.  Some people think I'm nuts, I think its funny.  I love to show off my messy life, maybe I'm looking for someone to tell me I'm not alone but maybe I'm helping someone realize They are not alone.  I guess its another form of validation. 

So yesterday I started #typicalmomcrap356 on FB, instagram, or whatever.  At least one photo a day of my imperfect, mundane, typical, non pintersty mom life.  I don't like feeling inadequate or imperfect and I don't want to ever make someone else feel like that.

So every day....the good, the bad, the ugly #nofilter

Find some awesome imperfection below!