The Sweetest Saddness

Today I took down my folding laundry doors and instead put up a curtain partition.  I could have replaced the doors but I kept hearing how crappy they were so....I saved $20 and bought nice curtains.  There is a point to this....I think.

Today I get a note home from Speech it says "Frankie seems preoccupied with talking about poopie, he didn't have a very productive session since that's all he wanted to talk about.  I took him to the bathroom but he never went".  Well, I say it was appropriate since he did stay home from school the day prior because of well......poop.  Apparently he is still having issues.  I hear bits and pieces but never the full story.  Its getting aggravating, I'm probably picking him up tomorrow.


So children are balancing on folding doors laying on my kitchen floor.  Baby girl has some amazing balance, she looks like a mini snowboarder rocking back and forth arms out staying still.  Frankie runs over from his trains and tries to hold baby girls hand....she protests, I tell him she doesn't want to hold hands.....


Ask him what he wants for dinner 5 seconds later, meltdown begins.  No English words come out, not even poopie.  I assume its a food issue, i tell him when he is quiet i will talk to him.  He screams and sobs....Lia looks on from her high chair happily eating chicken.  This goes on for 10 minutes and the child utters "hold hands".  I'm hugging him and he sobs, "Lia doesn't want to hold hands".  This was all about hand holding, not food for once. I let them hold hands while she ate......he then informed me that he too would like chicken (GASP!...he has been eating cereal or yogurt for dinner for weeks). 


He held hands and ate all his Chicken......then he looks at me and smiles "I'm so proud of you"

A Silly, exciting thing to cry about

My son is a food stuffer.  I know its Sensory....maybe a a bit behavioral at this point.  So if you have been following me on Facebook you can see that Frankie has been having behavioral problems since he has been back to school.  They add 5 kids to his class......and Frankie doesn't like change or attention taken away from him....so he regresses behaviorally.  Lots on my mind, so much bothering me, wondering what I can do. 

So my little stuffer is sitting at the table with a paper plate, 3 pretzels and a cereal bar.  I am watching to make sure he breaths as he shoves the entire cereal bar in his mouth and then something happens.  He takes a bite and put it down...... "take a bite and put it down like Andrea says"  he repeats after every bite.  Maybe silly, but I cried.....that it all it takes.  He took nibbles of pretzel and put it down and waited.  Who was this kid??? 

Well....it was great.

Disney on Ice!

While the Lion King is my sons favorite Disney Movie, I am pretty sure that the Little Mermaid Dance Number was his favorite of the night....well probably for both kids.

I saw someone write- Ice + Princess  x Bubbles = Toddler Euphoria

Lol its probably true.

I have to say first that I wouldn't normally try to bring Frankie to these things alone.  I am Super blessed with a sister who works at Nassau Coliseum and can get me tickets for free and also parents who have the patience to help me with "I like to test people" Frankie and "Super happy jumpy" Lia

So I can say that other then the boring intermission the kids did quite well for 2 hours sitting in a cold stadium.  Frankie did freak at the idea of eating any food there, he was pretty upset when he though he was getting pretzels and got a soft pretzel, Mommy should have known better. 

I guess if i do these things a few times I get less stressed out.  As he gets older and I have dealt with this longer I also get less stressed out.  Autism has given me patience I never thought i could posses and the ability to let things just roll off my back.

Today we missed the bus.....it was OK, i drove him and then went shopping at Target.  use to be a big deal....no not a big deal anymore.  Great day, Great weekend, Great Life  :)

I'm back.....to complain unfourtunatly

As cute as he is....he needs to go back to school.  The photo above was taken at my aunts house where he continued to slam in those keys.......he's not the type of Autistic kid that is a musical savant may I add.

So yes, I need it to be Tuesday.  Mommy is getting mean, it needs to be Tuesday.  I can only Thank God that I was able to go out with friends Tuesday and out to dinner with my husband and another couple on Wednesday because if I didn't have those breaks....I don't know how I would be.

Today I felt like a horrible mother, This week I have been taken back to over a year ago when I just could not handle the boy.  I guess this is what people say is that Regression during school break.  He tests me to no end, climbs up things after repeated taking him off, ignoring etc.  After the 7th time climbing his table he got all giddy to see me coming to get him and fell off.  Then he wants me to be sad because he got hurt, but I'm not sad, I can only think "do you see why i told you NOT to do that"

Push sister, throw shoes, throw cereal....all with a smirk and even with the wrath of God in my eyes he is only scared for a second.  It needs to be Tuesday, I need the little boy who comes home and tells me how much he loves me back....not he one who just repeats back to me "don't you test me"

Good Church News

So in a short amount of Time our Church has raised a nice amount of money which is AMAZING and a blessing. We still have a Long way to go, but I just wanted to Thank anyone who donated.  I do believe in Miracles, whether for our Children, our lives, our Church community of the world.  Miracles happen.....keep on truckin, our prayers will be answered some way or another. 

Below is the original video from My Pastor, Brian McMillan...

Special Announcement from CenterPoint Church on Vimeo.

If you Still would like to Donate to Center Point Church Click Here

We had a good run!

So I had been M.I.A. for a while because things were splendid.  Not perfect, plenty of typical 3 year old annoying behavior, but nothing exciting.  Maybe I should have written about how typical he was being.   I found out a few weeks ago that my son was playing me for a fool.  Apparently he talks, pees, poops, eats a variety of food and drinks out of a cup at school.  All things he does NOT do at home with out an enormous amount of prompting.  Doctor says besides the speech, to see him  now, you would think he wasn't on the spectrum's. Most stims are gone, he just is.

Until he saw me today when I went to his class party.  The teachers told me he never acts like he did....I hadn't seen him act like this since he got diagnosed!  He was SCREAMING at the sight of me, attached to me screaming, refusing food, freaking over everything, anything.  Once we left school he was ok again.  I was angry at him, I don't understand why my mere presence can set him off into such a tail spin.  Why is it that my son is sticking out even in a special education pre-school class.  Maybe that's mean but, I felt so upset.  They tell me all the sweet things he does and how great he is, but when i walk into the room he turns into a mess that I cant fix.



To end the evening we went and got a haircut.  My mother in law wanted to bring him, last time she went with out me and she said it went poorly.  He has always been ok getting a haircut with me alone, but i think the distraction of a favorite grandma kind of gets him all wired up and more freaked out.  His hair got messed up from moving and i had to hold his head against me just to finish it up.  I don't know what happened....3 months ago he got a haircut, no problem.  I feel like crap......I should do dishes, I don't want to....boooo

Our Other Home....needs some help

I haven't blogged in a while, tons going on, Christmas fast approaching.  Things have been Status Quo in Autism World, same Frankie, same funny things, great strides as well!  But today I am stepping back from Autism for a second and talking about another part of my life, a part that is important and a part that could use some help and defiantly some prayer!

Once upon a time I wandered aimlessly still having some faith in God, yet none in organized religion.  I had once been depressed and at the end of my rope and when looking for help in the religion I was raised in I was met with blank stares and not much help, told confessing my sins would help maybe, if not maybe I should pray more.  In desperation I began googling churches in my area, all I wanted was a non- denominational church, something, anything.  To say I was confused is an understatement, then without fail an old friend from High School told me about this Church she and her fiance were attending and how i should go......That Church was Center Point.


I was going to go one weekend, she wasn't going to be able to go that weekend.....I drove past the building, scared out of my mind.....i went to have Coffee instead.  I was so worried about what people would think of me, I wondered if i would do church "right" those fears kept me out till the next week when my friend would be there.


Long story short, going to Church that day changed my life.  My now husband and I had been "on a break" when he said to me....."i want to go to that church with you"......He hadn't stepped foot in a church in 5 years.  It was Center Point that brought us back together, it was Center Point that grew my faith , it was at Center point I got married and dedicated my children.  Even now that it gets difficult for me to get to Church since Frank is working six days a week , Sunday being one of them, Center Point still reaches me with the online videos we can watch to feel connected with our Church even after a few weeks absence.

It is at Center Point I know if I am really in need there will be someone to help.  There is always a listening ear and a helpful hand.  Even recently two mothers have started a "parents of special needs" group that meets on Tuesdays.  It is programs and groups like that, that help so many and we hope to reach more.

We have recently outgrown our home.....a home that I will be so sad to leave, but we just don't fit anymore.  We had been looking into purchasing the building we are in regardless of the size limitations....that is until an opportunity for a new home.....about 10x the size of our current location popped up.  Its more centrally located in Massapequa NY and we would be able to reach so many more people and help those, like me 6 years ago, find their way and find a home Church.

So what I need from my fellow friend is Prayers.....prayer, prayers, prayers and more prayers.  Tears come to my eyes thinking of the potential of this place and the great things that can be done for Long Islands South shore.  By the end of January 2012, we have to have $250,000 for a down payment.  We are asking our church family to pray and give as much as they can to help us achieve this goal.  As my blog followers I am first just asking you to Pray for us (if you pray that is :) )  and spread the word for us if you are in the Long Island area.  Below I will add two links, one to the Church page and another to the donation page if you feel that you would like to give toward our cause.  All donations go straight to Center Point Church Building Fund, nothing crosses my hands.

I know this was a little different then normal, but I would jut love to be able to get as many prayers and as much help as we can!

Church Site:

Center Point Church

Donation to Building Fund:

Give Now

Again, I thank you so much for letting me post this and for any help you are able to offer!