I wonder how siblings to Autistic children feel. I pray everyday that I don't put my daughter second, that I don't forget her in the chaos. She has grown so fast, and I can't help but feel like her first year is overshadowed by an Autism diagnosis. Just shy of her turning 4 months old our world was changed and I began a crusade to help my son, with an infant strapped to my chest on a Moby wrap.
Sometimes I feel like I put him first, my worry, my time, my fears, all about him. Recently she has begun screaming, attention screaming. The kind of screaming that makes you cringe, all because she wants you took look at her. She is refusing whole milk and now foods she use to eat. I just keep thinking whatever she will grow out of is and get more worried about Frankies non eating and behavioral issues. My big fear is that even though she is talking, maybe she too is having sensory issues and I will miss it because I'm so wrapped up in the boy.
I love them both, just the same. I know I am a good mommy to them both, but it's a fear. A fear I'm sure many of us have even with only typical kids. I wish we got grades on parenting so I could see my performance in grade form. I pray I am a good mommy to my babies, that I never put one before the other and that they both understand the love I have for them in eternal and never ending.....even when mommy is having a grumpy day <3