Ok maybe I don't have Patience everyday, like the day LP knocked his sister over in the highchair (he saw the rath of God that day). In reality though, I let a lot more things roll off my back.
I was never someone who freaked out externally for all to see, instead I would grow impatient on my inside. I would stress about tiny things, like not being able to shop at Bloomingdales, that I couldn't have a new Coach bag, that my boyfriend didn't call. Though I still internalize my stress the small things don't carry much weight anymore.
Autism has given me The gift to say "so what?". Three days ago my sewage pump in my apartment got clogged......and tons of water flowed out. This water was a mixture of dish, laundry and dirty toilet water. To say it was nasty is to be polite......as I looked down at raw sewage on my kitchen floor I thought " well that sucks". Ever so calmly I cleaned it up and for two days was with out real plumbing. In reality, it's just not a big deal.
At this point, not much is a "big deal". I take everyday as it comes, good, bad and ugly. If the child needs to scream in the store, fine, if I can't have new fancy things, ok, if I spill an entire box if Cheerios on the floor........ Deep breaths...I vacuum it.
Thank Autism for giving me patience with my son that crossed into my normal life. It's in that way that the diagnosis was a blessing. It changed me for the good, and for that I am grateful.
I have two autistic grandson's so when I say this I don't say it lightly..You have taken a daily (probably more like Hourly)challenged lifestyle and ran miles with it.. The trials that come with your lifestyle are not making you a bitter person hiding behind a bunch of smiles ... but a truly beautifully open heart.. that is growing straight up toward God in spite of the challenges.
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the nicest comments ever! I needed that because there are days I feel like throwing in the towel and starting the "why me" water works ( which do happen occasionally). But I try to just kee my chin up and realize maybe God has a bigger plan for us and there is a good reason that he has brought this into my life . Thank you again!
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ReplyDeleteOH yes! I got that gift too. And I shrug my shoulders and keep it moving. In the grand scheme of things - there are a lot things that are no big deal. We just have to go with it.
ReplyDeleteYour welcome babe. Your doing just fine and there is so much ahead for you. Your in my prayers each night after I read your post. I see so much of my youngest daughter in you when you post, her boys are both autistic also. I am not sure but I feel God gives mothers/fathers who have autistic children special blessings for the days and nights ahead of you because your worlds get a lot more wear n tear out of a 24 hour time slot than most parents.. Stay strong Danielle but don't be afraid to be weak either.. It really is okay to scream "why me Lord" we all do it when we can't take one more second of the frustration or pain. God knows the reason's behind our screams/outburst's.. He see's when the heart is just simply hurting so bad..So just be you because you really are doing great.
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