This is short, its my feelings and its going to be raw. I let LP walk in the supermarket today. I let him have the big brother job of helping mommy push the cart. I knew today I needed to put on my big girl pants and walk with my son instead of tying him to a stroller or shopping cart. I knew he needed to learn and I knew I needed to put my anxiety away, put my best foot forward and let it happen. He helped me push and he put things in the cart. He had his vocal stim moments and most people looked away or smiled and nodded. I didn't really give a crap what they thought honestly.......
Now I lay here 5 hours later with hurt on my heart and holding back tears because of one woman in the store. LP was shaking his head in a manic way and having a sensory overload issue. A woman in I'd say her 50's looks at him, she looks concerned,confused and disgusted , she then looks at my daughter and says "Aw, but you have the most beautiful baby" She walks away........
But I have the most beautiful baby? BUT???? BUT?? I have the most beautiful children lady. I was still getting LP to relax, and relax he did. I was more concerned about him that I never let her comment hit me. He did so well, he even helped me check out the food in the self check out. BUT.....I have never had someone compliment one child and not the other, BUT? I feel like she was saying, oh well that sucks that that child is a maniac BUT this one is so beautiful.
Word to the wise, Mind your business if you cant be nice. Because you don't know how much you can hurt someone. My son is beautiful, his stims are beautiful, his tantrums are beautiful, his speech delay is beautiful, his jumping is beautiful, his chipped smile is beautiful and his Autism is Beautiful. It's all Beautiful because he is part of me, he is part of my husband and he is ours. I always think people are aware, and in my area most people are.....but there is always one. Be Aware, my Sons Autism Makes him Beautiful.
And you, you are beautiful. (((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteI've been there before...I know "the look." But for that woman to say that? - how dare she! Screw her, she'll never know how great our kids are! But you know better - you're children are BOTH beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAnd kuddos to you for letting your son walk in the supermarket. I've been doing it for a while, just because he's too heavy for me to lift and put him in the cart. But he's well over the limit anyway. AND I just got my husband to do that, and our kid is 5.
Lisa, letting them walk is so hard isn't it? Thank you both for the kind words. My husband said I should have told her off, but like I said it wasn't my main concern. This is the same grocery store that I encountered many other moms with children on the spectrum.....the amount of kids in this area with ASD is very very uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteSo normally the younger people get it, those under 40. It's the older crowd that thinks your some crappy parent and your kid should be in a psych ward because they are spinning And going on in some language no one understands. I need to raise awareness to the older generation, but sometimes I just think I should silk screen a snot comment to LP's shirt saying " I'm Autistic, stop looking at me you jerk" haha