Tuesday, November 1, 2011

In Over My Head?

Yes, that picture might be appropriate for how I feel.....trapped under a chair.  I've been hiding out, posting status updates grumbling about something and happy about others.  I haven't been able to put many thoughts into words recently.  I was baking the other day and I messed something up......it liquefied and turned into un-usable mush.....that's how my brain feels. 

I wrote about the Celiacs, they say the intestines looked fine, to keep feeding him normally.  I saw a Nutritionist yesterday, a good one too.  She works hand in hand with our Doctor and they are recommending this low protein diet for kids with this gene mutation Frankie has.  For the first time through all of this I felt very uncomfortable, stressed and literally wanted to throw in the towel.  I sat there for an hour discussing what to feed him, how to cook it, how to manage it......yet I just feel like I cant.

I have an overwhelming fear right now.  I know not everyone here believes in a high power but I do.  I'm starting to see the big picture in Gods plan and its killing me.  I was never one to be organized, read directions, follow directions, or follow through on anything.......its just not me.  I fluttered around happy as a clam just going with the flow and then BAM!  Now i have to be all of those things.  I can only see it as Gods wake up call.  I have said it before, my Son saved my life from a life of waitressing and heavy drinking...I had a great time, but if he wasn't here I would have ended up one of those crazy broads with the deep voice tending bar in my 50's......ok maybe not but that was a huge fear!  So now this is placed in my lap, I need to organize, follow and read the damn directions, write everything down and follow through for the REST of his life....super.

So 14 grams of protein a day and not all at the same time.  Frankie's chicken nugget dinner is 14 grams.  Somehow I need to get this kid to eat more starches and carbs, which will be a BATTLE.  I throw my hand up, I have no frigen clue how I can get this kid to eat pasta.  He sobs if you make him try anything different, flailing arms, thrown plates juice everywhere....all because you asked him to try a new food.  God Help me. 


  1. {HUGS}

    I know, I am right there with you. Take it one day at a time. And if that gets to be too much - take it 10 minutes at a time.

  2. Thanks hun! HUGS to you too! I told my dad about an hour after I posted this that it will just take a few weeks of adjustment but it will all work out, it always does!