Thursday, November 17, 2011

When You Know Something Is Wrong

So this is the second time I have come across the issue of knowing something is up with another persons child.....and they do not.  I suppose I am lucky because neither person was a good friend by any means, but it still seems to make me feel odd.

The first time was at a baby play group, one mom kept saying her child was constantly hurting himself and other kids.  She went on and poured out all these emotions and concerns as her 18 month old son ran around haphazardly grunting.  She said "who do you call for early intervention".....and i handed over the number that was nicely stored in my phone.  I tried to comfort this woman, who was basically a stranger, and tell her it would be ok and he didn't seem so bad, it was probably nothing just a phase.  It was then I was mentally brought back to that same time in my life, the time when I looked at other moms and hoped they told me my son was fine.  They did.....they were lieing....and so did I.

This last time was at the doctors office on Wednesday while the kids were playing.  This little boy flapping around and spinning, spinning took a fancy to Frankie's Thomas trains that he left on the little play table.  Frankie caught wind and went over and took them back.  Little boy freaked out, FREAKED, not a normal freaked out either.  Mom came over and apologized and there I was seeing myself in another person.  She did this thing I use to do before I knew what was going on....I would talk out loud to myself pretending I was talking to the boy, maybe as a cry for help.  She said " are you hungry, not that you eat anything, not that you can tell me what you would want to eat.  Its not like you talk ever.  imagine a two year old who just doesn't want to talk"  Bells were going off in my head but of course this woman was a complete stranger.....

The question is what is that fine line.....when do you make a comment.  No one wants to hear Autism, I think you can throw a mom into tears or a fit of rage if you threw the idea of Autism their way.   I just wish there were rules....


  1. Same thing happened to me this weekend! We were at a jump house place and I spotted this little boy who I instantly knew, in the meantime an older woman (an obvious grandmother )and saw me and ryder signing and asked "does he not talk?"We I replied with a smile "no, he has autism and at the moment is non verbal" she proceeds to tell me her grandson jack isn't talking and points to the little guy I had noticed earlier. We sat there for a good thirty min discussing his symptoms and my first indication was most likely true. I gave her my number and email and the early intervention contacts I had. I left that night in disbelief that although my son has been diagnosed less than two.months and is just shy of three this is the third person I have been able to help.

  2. Has happened to me, as well except this was with a mommy friend..which is almost worse! One of her kids was having a birthday party at Pump-it-Up and her younger one was completely flipping out! I recognized the behavior because my son with autism used to do the same thing before we found out about Sensory Processing Disorder. I tried to talk to her, even offered to let her borrow books, gave numbers...but since she is a friend, there's only so far you can push. If a parent isn't ready to accept, it doesn't matter what you say.