Sunday, November 20, 2011

Well Now My Panties are in a Bunch

If you have heard it once, you have heard it a million times.....the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side.  I feel like this topic was covered already by myself and other blogs when it came to the severity  of our kids ASD.

Why are you so happy?  No why aren't you happier?  I need to laugh, no I need to complain....and then everyone judges each other for it.

Our new Judgement piece of the week.......How can one complain about co-pays and therapy costs and then proceed to spend money on other things?  How can one complain about services when their state covers more then another?  And now we are back at judgment square one.

Regardless of what you made, co-pays are annoying.  Every year they go up....$100 for an E.R. visit in which they glue my sons skin together....Thanks.  $25 every time a therapist comes to the house.....5 times a week.....unless you are a millionaire its annoying.  $4.50 for a bag of cookies that you know cost about $.50 to make...Annoying.  $45 for fish oil pills, $300 for a nutritionist, $200 for Proloquo, $500 for an Ipad....OK I can go on, whatever all these things cost a lot but help the kids so we buy it.......even when we know it cost a fraction of that to make those things or provide those services.  You can go on to argue that you don't get your kids those things because you cant afford it.....well neither can I so, I understand, but I'm not going to pounce on the person who can.

Everyone wants to blame those who have, you know why I don't have more?  Because I dropped out of nursing school and never got past an Associates Degree that's why, that was my choice.  I can't be mad at a family who may have more,  I put myself in this situation and now I have a child who could use more, but because of my decisions I cant give him all of it (hind sight is SOOO 20/20)  So those who have more are still entitled to bitch about how much things cost for Pete's sake, Autism is expensive!

Lastly, the idea that one state gets more then another does bother me.  Like I stated prior on Autism Daddy, the states didn't wake up one day and say, "hey lets give money to Autistic families for services" parents Fought for it.  If your state doesn't cover things, FIGHT for it.  If the next state over has services and you can find a great job there, MOVE.  I would move to the ends of the earth if I could get Frankie services but I am lucky and live in a great state.  In the term of greener grass, sure we get great services but when compared to the rest of the country my family falls right above average income.....In my part of this country, a family of for making under 88k is under poverty level.....I am considered waaaay below poverty level and because that figure is relative and averages out to the rest of the state we get no government help....NOTHING.  A two bedroom cost 2k a month, the average home price is $450k for a small house on a small plot where you will pay about 9k a year in taxes on top of your mortgage leaving you shelling out, after utilities, around 5k a month to live there.....So YES we get lots of services, that we are taxed out the rear for.

And while we live pay check to pay check I still have date night with my husband even if its Dominos and a bottle of wine.  Why?, why spend money I could save?  Because saving a marriage is most important.  Parents of Autistic Children have a higher divorce rate because they forget about each other.  Autism takes hold until you don't even know the other person anymore.  So if I have to skip picking up my coat from the dry cleaners or fixing my dishwasher so I can have a night out with the man I fell in love with so be it.  No one should judge anyone for that.


  1. I wish you could see me right now. I honestly had to restrain myself from applauding. Wonderful, wonderful post!

  2. Thanks darling. I just had to re-edit that post since I wrote it in a semi rage with a 14 month old fever baby laying on my chest lol. I was so annoyed with the comments left over at Autism Daddy, and also went through people making comments like this to me. "How can you complain about money when you ______" Seriously? Because I know it doenst cost $6 to make GLurten Free Bread and some company is making a killin off my stupid ass thats why. I'm done now lol :)