Saturday, November 5, 2011

Thank You

That photo was taken the day before the maddness that is Autism knocked on our door.  I remember, I remember they came to my house and the psychologist played with my son and told me how smart he was.  After it was all said and done he leaned back and asked if we wanted to know what he thought.....

"I see some orange flags here" he said...."not so much RED Flags but certainly Orange Flags for Autism Spectrum disorder, Not classic Autism, no not that" Now, looking back I don't know if that was his way of letting us know easily or if this man was color blind.  Anyway, I spent three months in a diagnosis fog.  You know that fog, the one where you think "maybe its not true, that guy looked a little crazy himself" So for three months I digested and had on my rose colored glasses and told everyone I was sure he would out grow it.

So after denial state is over comes something that is a mixture of confusion, depression, bargaining, and who knows what was in that mess I started this Blog. And like the Blog I opened a Fan page on Facebook for my own sanity, not so much anyone elses.

 I so desperately needed to find someone with a child like mine.  A child who at the age of 2.5 knew the whole alphabet and by 3 had memorized over 200 words by site and could "read" but then at the same time was refusing to eat anything but chicken nuggets, spin in circles until he ran into a wall, had to constantly be rubbing up on me and couldn't follow simple directions with out having a melt down because he had no idea what the hell I walk talking about....."Stand up? Stand up??!?!?!"....melt downs after asking stand up, seriously?

Sweet now I had a blog and fan page to vent on!  There were people and pages that got me through in the beginning, Blogs being Bubbles make Him Smile who was my first inspiration and Regarding Caroline.  Then there were my Facebook Crew- Autism Warrior Long Island, NYAutism Daddy, Lost and Tired, Autism is a Trip and John's Mom.  They were my inspiration, they were my go to pages, they were who I strived to be.  There are many more in the community that inspired me and helped me through my dark crappy times also that I may have forgotten.  To you all, Thank You! 

Today I was told by a few people that they found my page and it helped them and made them feel better.  Wait, what?  Me?  I just made this Blog to complain and and swim around in my own tears.  I suppose eventually it has all taken a turn as I describe the garbage we are going through, medical, emotional, bodily functional....its all here.  Its all here so you can relate.

I am happy to be here for anyone who needs a shoulder to cry on,  an ear to listen a brain to pick for advice....I even have a sweet pool of tears you can come swim in with me.  So to my fans I thank you too, I hope that I make a difference to you and that you can pass the torch to the next newly diagnosed family. 


  1. <3 <3 <3 <3 Namaste, friend - I'm so glad you're a part of my community. <3 <3 <3 <3


  2. I relate so much to this, on so many levels. My son could "read" quite a few short words, as well as spell his and his sister's names, and identify all upper and lowercase letters, count to 20, count backwards from 10, and numerous other crazy things before he hit two. He can label anything he wants you to see - he can hand you an apple and say "apple." But, if you have a banana and an apple in front of him and ask him which is the apple, he can't tell you. He'll break down crying hysterically for no reason - full out tantrum on the floor - because instead of saying or signing "milk," he just can't find the word. Life sometimes isn't easy with a kid on the spectrum. Okay, frequently. Yet, I feel guilty about letting myself take a moment to feel sorry for myself, so I don't. Instead, I read others' stories and relate to them, and know that I'm not alone in this, even when it seems like it's us against the world. There ARE others out there who understand. Thanks for that.

  3. Ashlee! I have found my Autism Mom Twin! My son has an insane vocabulary, its enourmous....he cant use it though. He can label everything, types of trains, types of construction vehicles etc. but only recently has he been able to express a desire for something like juice. Its good to know you are not alone! Its nice to meet yoU!!

  4. So very honoured to be your inspiration to share your story with the world! <3 Thank you!